Single Woman Fears She Will Never Be Wife and Mother | Advice


DEAR ABBY: I am a 31 year old female who has had many relationships since high school. No commitment, however, although four of the men mentioned that they wanted to marry me. I lived with three of them.

I am a former model, almost finished my second master’s degree and have a stable job in the public service. I don’t understand why I feel so depressed just because no one ever wanted to marry me. I have wanted children all my life and thought I would have three before I turned 30. Now, I cry everyday thinking that I might never be in a relationship with someone who will love me enough to marry me, or who will have children with me because the marriage never happened.

I have set up a university fund for my “future” children and I have done everything in my life to prepare myself to be a mother. I paid off my student loans earlier, got a perfect car for the car seats and a good breed dog for the kids. I just don’t know who to turn to next.

– Aspire to be a woman / mother

DEAR YEARS: You appear to be a kind and accomplished woman with traditional values. Could it be that you are so focused on marriage that you have driven out your suitors? From what you’ve written, you may have put the cart before the horse. Let a relationship flow naturally before you focus on an altar rush.

Even if you aspire to marry before motherhood, it’s important to remember that there may be other options. Marriage is not on the cards for everyone. Some single women are focusing on their careers and / or adopting children who are in need of a loving home. You could be one of them if you broaden your horizons.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.



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